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Vannah Fortuna
Vannah Fortuna is a tall, attractive penguin that operates the Rota Regna. She is a happy penguin with a fantastic smile and outgoing personality, but when off work, she is a compulsive gambler and an amazing choir singer (and Gregorian chanter if need be). Background Hatching and chickhood Vannah hails from Las Puffles. Her father, always a traditionalist, had carried Vannah's egg on his foot for weeks. When he was in Las Puffles (yet again) playing the slots, Vannah hatched right there in the middle of a pull. Overjoyed, he exited the casino (totally unaware that he had hit the jackpot) and showed Vannah's mother her new chick. She was also overjoyed, and not only because of her father's joy, but because this female chick was already as cute as a button. Also, and her father had ignored this, but she cried loudly when she was taken out of the casino pit to her mother, and while she stopped crying when standing next to her mother, she would cry elsewhere. All attempts to silence the little bird were futile. Vannah's father and mother were upset, so they decided to take their crying chick with them to the casino pit to play some games while keeping an eye on her. Perhaps the flashing lights and sounds would calm her down. Indeed, they did. Little Vannah immediately fell complacent when in the casino halls. She was awed at the machines and games and never made a peep when she was there. In fact, she laughed every time her father would play a slot machine (she thought pulling the lever was just the funniest thing ever). Gambling and court As she aged, from chickhood and on to adolescence, Vannah frequented Las Puffles, and she gambled her heart out. She became a master at the games there, nailing everyone in everything from Go Fish to Old Maid to chess to Blackjack to Poker, and she could even come out on top in "chance" games like slots and roulette. So great was her luck, that others thought she was rigging the machines and dealers. Casino pit bosses nabbed her and had her play a game under strict surveillance. Her pretty sleeveless dress was scanned with a scanning security wand/stick, and despite all checks, she came out completely clean. There was no way that she could be a cheater... perhaps she was just that lucky! Vannah's explanation for her winning in cards was on one reason: "Voices in my head tell me the answers and what to do in any card game." The staff laughed, but her winning did not lie. Vannah continued to rake in money from Las Puffles. She came close to draining the house several times, and even though the losers refilled their coffers, the casinos came too close to breaking even for comfort too many times. The City Council of Las Puffles agreed to ban her from entering the city limits and from stepping a webbed foot in any casino that borders the property. She was heartbroken and her family was outraged that a casino banned her just because she won. They sued, and a local court overturned the ban, because she didn't cheat nor break a law... she was just lucky. The court opinion, once encoded into krytocratic law, was interpreted by future justices in saying that casinos could not kick any winner out unless they cheated, no matter how much their profits were hurt. In Vannah's case, hearing voices was not cheating, as Vannah did not have control over them and did not summon them or ask them... they just came. They were not from some spy or assistant with a microphone, they were purely natural and within her mind. There was no way it was cheating if it just spoke to her like that. Invitation Still, Vannah was saddened that she won so much. It had many advantages, but it also had drawbacks. Vannah didn't always win, but losses were rare to the point that she rejoiced at a loss the same way a normal penguin would cheer for a win. The odds just seemed to be stacked in her favor indefinitely, particularly in games of chance. The Masters of the Universe noticed this, and decided that she would be perfect for their company. She was "invited" to "Ampersand Publishing" for a gambling-related job with a threefold multiplication of her current salary as a casino dealer. How could she say no? Involvement Vannah's BOF job is the Rota Regna. She simply closes her eyes and spins the thing when she is told that she needs to do so. She was chosen, they claimed, because she was so lucky that it had to be Fourth Wall power, and they were right. Vannah agreed on this, mainly because she had long heard voices in her head (and those voices often told her the answers to card games). She settled into her new job and loved it immediately. Though, being a big-hearted penguin, she felt immense remorse when the Wheel cursed a good creature. The BOF had to increase her salary and comfort her sobbing to compensate. Vannah is a warm and cheerful presence in the BOF. She is certainly not stupid nor oblivious/naive, but she isn't a super-genius, either; she is simply adequate. She enjoys talking to other employees, and particularly to new ones, and she always seems to give the right advice for a sad penguin. Her smile can brighten a room, and she always dresses her best... even though her best is always a floor-length sleeveless dress. Still, employees love her. Even Benny has a bit of respect for Vannah, though this is mainly because she doesn't cross him and because she is pretty (the absolute main reason is that she is good at her job). Benny could care less about her being a good creature or possessing a warm personality. To Benny, Vannah was good at her job, and so she stayed. However, like any creature in the universe, Vannah is disposable. A new creature could take her place if the plot demanded it and it was complacent with the universe's doctrine. Of course, that opinion is not different for any creature except Benny himself and his family, so Vannah should not fear that. Trivia *Vannah is an obvious parody of Vanna White, the famous letter-turning hostess of Wheel of Fortune. The parodee of the Rota Regna is called "Rota Fortunae", or Wheel of Fortune, so the pun is irresistible. **In fact, she is a dual parody! Bonus to whoever can guess it! * Vannah, when not working, will always be playing some sort of game with her employees. In the BOF, her mega-luck is somehow neutralized, making her rely on skill alone (and she loves that). She wins a lot, anyways. * Vannah is a friend of Mandy Mortis and Becky. As the highest positions of the Bureau are all held by males, she holds the mutual feeling that "girls have to stick together". Mandy couldn't give a care and does not return the friendship, but Becky has certainly subscribed to Vannah's thinking, and the two enjoy each other's company. * She has surprisingly strong flippers. All of that heavy wheel spinning has helped her. * Vannah is an amazing singer, but she is best in a large, dramatic choir that sings in foreign languages. She attends choir every Tuesday when not on the job. * Vannah once beat Bugzy at Poker. She only did it once. Bugzy nailed PWNed her in the rematch. See also * Rota Regna * Masters of the Universe * Communist Poker Face * Las Puffles * The Stampers Five category:characters category:penguins category:parodies category:Masters of the Universe category:Goody Two-Shoes